When my son was born, I held in my arms a tiny little person who was spirited and confident in a big way. He happened to me at a time when, after having gone through a deep soul-searching expedition, I had finally understood and embraced my spirituality. As a result of believing in my own inner fullness, with motherhood came the awareness that my only job is to let my child be my guide as a parent. It was not easy. It never is, especially when you step on a Lego idling on the floor. But, with him in my arms started my four-year long revolutionary journey of conscious parenting.
While it all sounds very profound, let’s start with the basics: Who really is a conscious parent? To be a conscious parent requires you to be willing to be aware of your children. And, in the process, being aware of what their points of views are. Ask yourself, what are their agenda? What are they trying to accomplish and why are they doing what they are doing?
Anger and frustration come easily to us when our children don’t follow our instructions or behave a certain way. However, the next time it happens, try to shift your focus away from your children and towards yourself. It will lend you a totally new perspective to the problem. In time, you will see yourself becoming calmer, more loving and accepting and your child more in touch with his core. And, if an unkempt child is all it takes to let him stay connected to his spirit then, so be it. Right?
An easy way to know the correct thing to do as a conscious parent would be to always remember these four key requirements of your child from you:
Again, by not placing unrealistic (and your self-motivated) expectations on your children, you will actually allow their real essence to emerge, without so much as a shred of self-doubt.
It all boils down to keeping in mind these easy factors for success:
- Empower your children to know what they know.
- Speak to your children like they understand everything, because they actually do!
- Educate your children on how the world works.
However, in order to learn to respond in a healthier way as a parent, your energy becomes the most important of all. Conscious parenting, after all, is all about the parent. So, understand where you operate from. This brings to mind a quote by President Ikeda, “The oneness of life and its environment suggests that individuals can influence and reform their environments through inner change or through the elevation of their basic life state.”
To heighten your life state, give yourself some valuable “Me Time” routinely, meditate consistently and empower yourself with a question every day.
As a parting thought, when you express yourself honestly and authentically, your children will also reciprocate equally — eventually, it will bring each of you closer to your inner selves and to each other.